


Adagio

by Local_Queer



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Agender Character, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Mentions of alcohol, Other, Phandom Big Bang, Phandom Big Bang 2016, References to Abuse, Transphobia, dan is transgender ftm, phil is agender, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 10:05:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8620312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Local_Queer/pseuds/Local_Queer
Summary: Dan Howell had a rough start in life, but through dancing and reinventing himself, he shone as bright as a star. Everything was great until his fiance left him the day before their wedding. Dan became reclusive and withdrawn from his close friends, but when a certain artist walks into his life, things start to change. Will Dan let them in, or will he push them away?





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was so so so hard to write, but it was so worth it. This was my first PBB and I'm so glad I participated this year. I'd like to thank my beta because this story was a mess and she helped make it the story I wanted it to be. I hope you enjoy!  
> UPDATE: I have edited this so the pronouns for Phil should all be correct. i didn't edit anything else though because I am way too fucking tired for that. Enjoy!

Dan Howell has always loved his dancing more than he’s ever loved anything. Ever since he was a child, he would dance around his house, and his mother would join him. It was an easier time. He was blissfully unaware of the norms of the gender binary. He loved to wear dresses and play with his mother’s makeup. Of course he still loves these things, but now he worries about judgement and people not believing he’s a boy. 

His mother didn’t worry about using his different name and pronouns. He remembers his coming out like it was yesterday. He had timidly asked his mother if he could talk to her for a moment, could even remember the way his voice shook and cracked as he told her he was transgender, the exact look on her face as she registered what he told her. He had never seen her so shocked and disgusted. She immediately shot down the idea of it and made sure he knew that she would never be her son.

Before she cut off all contact with him last year, she didn't even bother to pay attention to his corrections. Every time the word “daughter,” left her mouth, it was harsh and venomous. It stung, but he knew she would never change.

Dan has made peace with the fact that his family doesn't want to speak to him anymore; at least, that’s what he tells himself. Sometimes he thinks about how much he misses spending holidays with them, but he knows he’s better off without their judgemental presence.

In Dan’s opinion, losing his friends and fiancé, Jack, was worse than losing his family. 

His fiancé had been with him since he was a junior in highschool, but left him the day before their wedding. Dan had to cancel the entire ceremony, and spent days trying to locate him. When he finally found Jack, he told Dan that he didn't want to marry him because he was so feminine, saying a brief goodbye and calling him by his birth name to worsen the blow.

Dan was broken, unable to cope with losing Jack. He had to go through months of therapy to feel just slightly better, only to lose all of his friends because Jack had spread so many rumours about him.

After his family, friends, and  fiancé left him, he decided to focus on his career. It took months of hard work, but he made it. He works with some of the biggest names in the business, and he’s making more money than he could ever dream -- for a dancer, that is. His biggest performance to date is quickly approaching, starring him as the lead dancer. It’s not his first time being the lead, but never in a show this large and important. He knows every dancer in the show is depending on him to do well, and it’s a huge weight on his shoulders.

_____________________________

 

Across the room, Louise, Dan’s best friend, sees him and  walks over. Louise’s bubbly and confident personality compliments Dan’s more humble and shy one. She’s been through quite a lot when it comes to being a part of the LGBTQ+ community, so it’s easy for Dan to relate to her. She’s always been very positive, and her girlfriend and daughter keep her full of energy and excitement. They get along very well, and spend most of the rehearsal talking to each other, barely practicing. Eventually, Dan has to do what he’s been dreading: having to rehearse his biggest part. 

Dan walks into the room and greets the other dancers with a quiet hello. He walks swiftly to his usual spot in the room -- back left corner, the farthest from the door -- and starts to do his stretches, remaining a few paces away from the other dancers that are clumped together discussing the previous night’s episode of  _ So You Think You Can Dance _ .

Dan knew that he was a good dancer, he wouldn't be a part of this studio if he wasn't, but it didn't stop him from being extremely nervous when he was performing in front of a crowd. He takes a deep breath and listens to the instructor as he starts dancing. The dancers take a break and watch Dan, admiring how the movements come so naturally.

_____________________________   
  


Dan sits on the sofa of Louise and Zoe’s house as he usually does after dance rehearsals, Darcy by his side as they watch whatever cartoons she wants. It’s become routine, and the popcorn bowl sits comfortable by his right side as it always does. The knock on the door isn’t part of the routine.

“Dan, would you be a dear and get the door for us?” Zoe requested.

At first, he just eats another handful of popcorn, but with a another knock and a rather exaggerated groan, he relents. Upon opening the door, he is met face to face with a person covered in tattoos. He never would have guessed Louise or Zoe to be friends with someone of this appearance, but then again, how could he judge someone on how they look. 

“Louise, who is this?” They both ask in unison. Then they just stare at each other incredulously as Louise runs to see who it is. Once she appears at the door, she pulls the still unidentified person into a tight hug.

Once she lets go, she turns to them both. “Dan, meet Phil. I’ve told you about them, before. They’re the artist I was telling you about. Phil, meet Dan, the adorable dancer I’ve mentioned a few times.” Louise ends the introduction by pulling Phil into the house, and Dan is honestly still shocked that she’s friends with them. They look too threatening for her companionship!

Phil smiles warmly at Dan and points to the small pin on their leather jacket that reads “they/them only,” quickly explaining that they’re agender and those are their pronouns. 

Dan is too shy to even try to talk to Phil, just clinging to poor Zoe and trying not to focus on Phil’s tattoos. He has to admit, they seems a lot nicer than their appearance makes them come off, but he’s still too anxious to join in on the conversation.

After the initial anxiety has worn off, Dan finally joins in on the conversation.

Dan knows he’s fucked the moment Phil calls him cute. Phil knows they’re fucked the moment they see Dan’s face turn pink as he stutters out a “thank you,” before rambling on about how he thinks Phil is cute as well. When Dan covers his mouth with his sleeve covered hand, they can’t help but think about how much they’d like to hear him giggle like that every day.

Luckily for Phil, they do get to hear him giggle like that quite often. Dan is so shy and his reactions to compliments are the cutest thing to Phil, so they make sure to give them often.

_____________________________

 

 

“You really love those flower crowns, don’t you?” Phil chuckles, smiling fondly over his mug of coffee at the boy across the table, whose cheeks grow even pinker as he nods. Phil is flirty and confident, and they enjoy making the other stutter and stumble over his words. “You love flowers so much, you’re like a honeybee. That’s what I’m going to call you! Honeybee!” Phil smiles widely, glad they finally found a fitting nickname for Dan.

Dan simply giggled, covering his mouth with his hand. “I’ve always loved flowers and such. I was actually going to go to university for Floral Design or Botany, but I decided against it and made my career in dancing.”

Phil just smiled, feeling themself fall a little bit deeper, although they’d never admit it. The way Dan was so sweet and caring and adorably shy set loose the most cliche butterflies in their stomach. 

_____________________________

 

They get to know each other over the next month and half, and actually become quite close. Of course, how could they not when they spend most of their free time together. Phil even buys a ticket to Dan’s upcoming performance, and Dan sees every piece of artwork Phil has ever created, including the ones that haven’t made it to the public eye yet. 

They’re closer than most friends are. They share everything and trust each other completely, but there’s a certain line between platonic and romantic, and they’ve definitely come close to crossing it many times. 

Tonight they’re going out to dinner to celebrate Dan getting an award for his dancing, and to say Dan was nervous would be an understatement. It’s seems terribly close to a date, and although deep down he doesn’t have a problem with that, he’s terrified something will go wrong, and his anxiety has decided to fuck him over at the least convenient of times once again. He’s shaking and Phil is going to be picking him up in just a few minutes, which just makes it that much worse.

There’s a knock on the door and Dan starts to hyperventilate, but he answers the door anyways. Phil notices something is wrong immediately, hugging him tight. “Calm down, Honeybee,” Phil says softly. 

Dan clings to Phil as he tries to catch his breath, stuttering out an apology. He was hoping Phil wouldn't be here yet so he could have time to calm himself down, but he can't deny that having Phil hold him like this makes it so much easier to catch his breath. It still takes a while, but eventually he calms down enough to be able to speak. 

"Sorry I panicked like that..." 

Phil kisses Dan's forehead and continues to hold him, assuring him that he's got nothing to apologize for. "Are you still up for tonight? I don't want to push you to do something you don't feel comfortable doing." Phil is so considerate, and Dan is very thankful. 

"No no I'll be fine. Just give me another minute to calm myself down, yeah?" Dan takes a few deep breaths and sits down on his sofa. 

It takes him just short of half an hour to calm down enough to leave for the restaurant, but Phil never once said a thing about them being late for their reservation. 

Once they sit at their table, the conversation flows as easily as always. Phil is talkative, and admittedly even more flirty than usual. Dan is happily rambling on about his old recitals and what he was like as a young dancer. Phil's heard about this before, many times actually, but they’re so infatuated with the way Dan speaks about what he loves -- and just Dan in general, if he’s being honest --  they could listen to this story a thousand times over. 

Phil sighs happily and smiles at Dan. "I love hearing you talk about your dancing so much."

Dan blushes a bright pink, the dim lights doing nothing to help hide it. "I'm glad you do since I never shut up about it. I'm surprise you're not tired of it by now." He looks down at his lap and smiles to himself. He's never been able to handle being complimented, especially by Phil.  
  
Phil shakes their head and smiles softly at Dan. "Of course I'm not. I love seeing and hearing about you dance." It's true; he'd spend the entirety of his time watching Dan dance if they could. Just like Dan could watch Phil paint for the entirety of his time.  
  
"It's nice to know you love it so much. I won't be shutting up about it any time soon." Dan giggles and smiles at Phil with both his dimples on display. Phil definitely doesn't have to suppress the urge to kiss said dimples.  
  
The two lose track of time as they talk and enjoy their meal. Phil plans how they want to end the night, not knowing that their plans would cause yet another breakdown tonight.  
  
They finish up their meal and split the bill, despite Dan’s insistence that he pay. Phil puts their plan into action when they get into the car and start to drive home. They're nervous as hell, but they do their best to not show it.  
  
Phil pulls into Dan's driveway and takes a deep breath as he walks him to the front door. "Thank you for tonight..." they say with a soft smile on their face.  
  
"It was incredible. Thank _you_." Dan hugs Phil tightly and smiles up at them. But as Phil leans down, his grin fades, his heart rate speeding up as well as his breath. Just as Phil’s lips touch his own, he immediately tenses. This isn't what Dan wants. He just wants a best friend, and as much as he's sure that he loves Phil, he can't do relationships. Not anymore. He pushes Phil away gently and shakes his head, tears starting to form. 

"No, no, no, I'm sorry," he manages to get out. He walks quickly to his door, rushing to unlock it  and run in, leaving Phil in shocked silence.  
  
As Dan sobs, curled on his living room floor, Phil drives home, feeling like an absolute idiot.

Dan doesn't know how to deal with this situation at all. Is there even a proper way to deal with your friend kissing you unexpectedly? God, the kiss had been great, but  he’s just so terrified of being in a romantic relationship again, let alone one with Phil. He loves them, but every time he thinks about dating them, he panics. He doesn't want to end up losing Phil.

At first Dan only avoids Phil, but he slowly starts avoiding Louise and Zoe as well. He feels terrible about it, and being alone again is depressing as hell, but he doesn’t stop.

Phil tries to call Dan to apologize, but never gets a response. They turn to Zoe and Louise for advice and comfort. The three of them have mixed feelings on the issue, not wanting to assume or believe that Dan is doing this to hurt them. It gets to the point where Zoe starts trying to find out about his past. She only finds out his fiancé had left him, but not why. They decide to keep trying to get a hold of Dan to no avail. 

Phil is the only one to see Dan during these three months, running into him at the store about a month after the kiss. Phil causes a bit of a scene with how loud they’re crying, Dan trying to act like he’s not about to cry as well.

“Why can’t we just forget that happened and be friends again?” Phil asks quietly, their voice breaking. 

“We just can’t and I’m so sorry. Please try to understand.” Dan is panicking, his breath quick and shallow.

“But I can’t understand when I don't know why!” Phil doesn’t quite yell, but their voice is loud enough to turn a few heads, Dan just sobs and runs out of the store, driving home as fast as he can.

Phil is even more heartbroken than before. Seeing Dan and hearing his voice again was like reopening a wound. They finish their shopping and go home, doing the only thing that helps them cope: painting They paint for hours on end, creating piece after piece until their hands are sore and the paint is running low. They’ve always loved their paintings of Dan. 

Meanwhile, Dan is a mess on his living room floor. He can’t stop the tears from falling as he thinks about the look on Phil’s face and how tired they looked. He falls asleep there, too exhausted to move to his bed. 

The following month is pure agony for both Dan and Phil. Both are heartbroken and are isolating themselves from the rest of the world. Phil is stuck teaching, but Dan has pretty much disappeared off the face of the earth. The press was all over his disappearance, naming it a repeat of the disaster with his fiancé. 

It takes a while for Dan to leave his house again. He goes to a little café, the one that him and Phil went to on their lunch breaks, and does his best to look invisible. The last thing he needs is people bombarding him with questions and assumptions. He orders his coffee and a muffin, deciding to sit at a table in the back corner of the café in hopes of not drawing attention to himself.

With shaking hands he picks up his mug of coffee, trying not to spill it everywhere. He's been a mess since he's started to avoid everyone. He knows he should at least call someone to let them know he's okay, but he's too afraid that they'll blame him for upsetting Phil so bad. 

Dan has seen Phil's latest piece of artwork, and he knows it's about him, it's so obvious. The colours, the shapes, the title, everything. The piece is titled "Adagio," and the dark silhouette in the center of the painting closely resembles Dan. It’s beautiful, but Dan can’t help but remember its sad meaning. The colours that are used are the exact ones he used to describe Dan when they were at dinner all those weeks ago. There's rain pouring down around the silhouette and the sky is grey. Dan blames himself. Of course, he isn't wrong in saying Phil’s misery is his fault, but he beats himself up over it every day. 

Dan sighs as he looks into his coffee, having gotten so lost in his thoughts that it's no longer hot, hardly lukewarm. He takes a sip anyways and grimaces, When he here’s the bell of the entrance ring, he only lifts his eyes to see who enters. Zoe. He panics slightly, trying to make himself unrecognizable by keeping his head down, but she’d know that jacket and that hair anywhere, so she walks right over and sits in the chair across the table. 

"Where the hell have you been, Dan?" is the first thing she asks, sounding tired and upset. There are dark circles under her eyes, and Dan can’t help but wonder if that’s his fault, too. 

Dan doesn't dare to look up at Zoe, knowing if he does he'll tell her everything. He stays silent for a while, then sighs and sets his coffee down. "At home. I haven't left in months," he answers quietly, wrapping his arms around himself. 

Zoe shakes her head and reaches across the table, lifting Dan's chin gently so he's looking at her. "Tell me why. You're obviously as upset as Phil, so I know you're not hurting them because you want to." 

Dan hates how as soon as he sees her he tears up and has to hold back a sob. "I was engaged. We were together for so long and everything was okay while we were together, but he left me the day before our wedding because he didn't want to be with someone so  _ feminine. _ It fucking destroyed me when he told me that. He knew why I didn't want to go on hormones and he was always okay with that until one day he wasn't, and I just don’t understand why. He started all these rumours and lies about me to my friends and family and they don’t want anything to do with me anymore. When Phil kissed me… God I wanted to stay there and be in their arms. But I panicked. I panicked and I ran as fast as I could because I didn't want to be hurt again.” He’s in tears by the time he’s done explaining, quiet sobs leaving his lips every so often.

Zoe is close to tears by the end of his story. She wipes her eyes and quickly sends l Louise a text saying "I'm bringing Dan home. Make sure Phil is there."  
  
Dan sets his coffee cup in front of himself stop he has something to look at. Looking at Zoe and seeing her crying will only him make him feel worse. He knows it's wrong that he's been avoiding them all, especially since no one did anything wrong. Dan blames himself, of course, he always does.  
  
Zoe is quiet for a moment or two, then she speaks, "I'm taking you back to mine. Louise misses you and you need to explain this to her. We'll handle Phil later."  
  
Dan is hesitant to go back and see Louise, knowing she's going to be very emotional over his return. He's not expecting to see Phil when he opens the door, but when he does he breaks down. Phil's arms immediately wrap around him and pull him close, tears flowing freely as sobs shake their bodies.  
  
Phil picks Dan up easily and carries him inside, sitting on the sofa and holding Dan as close as they can. Dan takes a while to calm down, and when he seems like he's okay, he starts sobbing again.  
  
Eventually, Dan collects himself enough  to explain everything about his ex-fiancé. "I was engaged up until around a year ago. Jack was incredible to me, even took me in when my parents kicked me out. He loved me and took care of me and made me feel like I was on top of the world. He was even better when it came to my gender. He was supportive and validating and just all round the best he could be. Until one day he just... wasn't. He left me the day before we were going to get married. We were packed and ready to get on the plane because he had a lot of money and could afford this extravagant wedding, it was a dream come true. Little did I know he had packed up everything he could without me noticing and was ready to leave. He told me that I was too girly, too… _female_ for him, that he couldn't marry me because of it. He left that day, and I didn't see him again until he came for the rest of his stuff. He had a nice man on his arm. A man more masculine and _cis_. I haven't... I haven't been able to date anyone since then." By the end, Dan’s eyes are clenched shut, holding back a waterfall of tears.  
Phil is having a mixture of emotions. They're angry and sad and heartbroken, and the small body in his arms is shaking, knees curled up against his chest. "He's a piece of shit and he never deserved someone as incredible and beautiful as you."  
  
Dan clings to Phil for dear life, like they're the only thing keeping him grounded. He hasn't felt this small and vulnerable in months, but he also feels a sense of relief because he's finally told Phil about what Jack did to him, how it made him feel. Dan hopes that maybe one day he'll be able to let him in like he let Jack in all those years ago, but right now he still needs time. He needs to heal properly, maybe get some kind of closure, although he's doubtful of the latter.  
  
The room is much too silent for Zoe's liking, so she claps her hands once and suggests they put on a film while Dan and Phil work things out. The two go outside, Dan letting Phil carry him. They sit in the garden and talk for hours, telling stories of past loves, both good and bad. Phil still has to repress the urge to kiss Dan's dimples.  
  
It takes another month for everything to go back to how it was before the kiss. The group of friends are closer now, and it feels like a family. Zoe and Louise get married the following autumn; Darcy is the flower girl, and Dan and Phil are the best men. It is a lovely and extravagant ceremony that the two boys help pay for. Zoe and Louise take the opportunity to tell Dan and Phil that they were next.  
  
Surprisingly, Dan is the one to ask Phil on a date. They're sat on Phil's sofa, Dan’s head in Phil’s lap, the television as mere background noise as they talk. 

"We should go out," Dan manages to sound nonchalant, "like on a date. There's a nice restaurant I'd love to go to." He looks up at Phil with hope in his eyes, though he’s terrified of rejection.  
  
Phil is shocked to say the least, their eyes going wide. "Of course! We could go on Friday night since spring break starts and I won't have papers to grade, and you’ll only have rehearsals in the morning." They've remembered Dan's schedule perfectly, which Dan is ever thankful for since he can never remember it himself.  
  
"Great! I'll be ready at about seven. I've got a few errands to run first." He hasn't been this excited in ages, not even when he went on his first date with Jack. There's just something about Phil that makes everything so much better.  
  
Dan makes sure to tell Zoe that he's got a date on Friday night and earns an excited phone call in return. He's still nervous as all hell, and part of him thinks this is a bad idea, but he remembers who Phil is and it reassures him that Friday night will be nothing but short of incredible.  
  
Phil is a nervous wreck, to put it simply. They're physically ready, but mentally a wreck. It's a big deal that Dan to let them into his life like this, and they don’t want to fuck it up.  
  
After about half an hour of panicking, they leave to pick Dan up. The drive to Dan's house feels a lot shorter than before, and Phil can’t decide if that's a good or bad thing. They get out of the car once he's there and knocks on the door.  
  
Dan opens the door slowly, smiling nervously at Phil. He's wearing one of his nicest shirts and dress pants and he's decided to do his makeup. He looks stunning in Phil's opinion. "I had to have Zoe come over. I'm shit at doing makeup." Dan giggles and looks over Zoe who's encouraging him to go. He waves to her as he walks out of the house to Phil's car.  
  
At first it's a bit awkward, but the awkwardness quickly disappears once Dan leans over and kisses Phil's cheek, saying "You look incredible."  
  
The blush on Phil's face doesn't leave the entire ride to the restaurant because they keep remembering the fact that Dan kisses their cheek. It's happened before, but it never fails to make them blush and forget how to breathe for a split second.  
  
When they arrive at the restaurant, Phil opens the passenger side door and helps Dan out of the car. Their arm wraps around his waist almost automatically.  
  
They walk into the restaurant and sit at the table they reserved by the window which overlooks the city. Nervous energy sparks between them, both wanting to impress the other. It's ridiculous how hard they're trying, and they end up simply laughing at each other’s attempts to be interesting.  
  
"Let's just talk like we usually do. No trying to be impressive Mx. I Won a Brian Botting Award." Dan giggles and sips his wine.

"I don't even know why I started talking about it! You were there when I accepted it!" Phil responds, a big smile on their face. 

"I still think you delivered that award sooner." "And I still say I only win that award because I painted you and everyone knew who you were."

"Accept that you're an incredible artist or I swear to god I'll send both of our fan bases after you to convince you that you are." Dan has done this before so Phil knows he's not bluffing. The last time it happened had been so embarrassing they had hid under a blanket for two hours. 

"That wasn't fair!" Phil pouts and crosses their arms. Dan feels himself fall a little bit more.  
  
The date goes incredibly from there, and they walk out of the restaurant closer than they had been when they entered. The drive home isn't awkward in the slightest; it's anything but.  
  
Phil is dropping Dan off at his house when they blurt out "Can I kiss you?", and Dan is stunned into silence for a few moments before he quickly leans over and kisses Phil softly. 

"Thank you for the wonderful night," he says as he draws back, smiling. 

"It was my pleasure. I'll see you later." Phil grins and waves at Dan as he gets out of the car and walks into his house.  
  
As soon as Dan is laying down in bed, he texts Zoe.  
  
Dan: _it was so incredible zo theyre so nice and you wont believe what happened when they took me home._  
  
Zoe: _What was it????? DID YOU KISS THEM???_ _  
_  
Dan: _YES_  
  
Dan: __im still not able to process the fact that this actually happened

  
Dan: _ Phil wears peppermint lip balm btw _

  
Zoe:  _ Phil is messaging Louise so much she had to turn off her phone theyre so happy rn _ _   
_   
Dan:  _ no one is as happy as me rn bc this is the first date ive been on in almost two years and I kisSED THEM _ _   
_   
Zoe:  _ Im so happy for you two but Louise is tired and cranky so we’re going to go to bed. Night Dan <3 _ _   
_   
Dan: __ night  <3   
  
Dan sighs happily and gets settled under the covers. He falls asleep with a smile on his face and thoughts of Phil on his mind.

After the success of their first date, Dan started to open up to Phil. It was a slow and steady process that took months of dates, but eventually Dan let himself trust Phil. At their seventh month mark, Phil surprises Dan with a painting they’ve been working on for weeks. It’s one of the most realistic paintings they’ve ever done, and Dan is so in love with it. It’s a painting of him dancing during his biggest performance so far. Phil has every detail as accurate as possible, even the way his hair sticks to his forehead.

“I love it so much, Phil…” Dan stares at the painting in awe. Phil has painted for him before, but never anything this intricate.

“I am so glad you like it.” Phil breathes a sigh of relief and offers Dan a shy smile. Knowing Dan likes their painting, especially since he had spent about four minutes just staring at it, lifts a huge weight off their shoulders.

Dan carefully sets the painting aside and hugs Phil as tightly as he can. “Of course I love it!” They stay like that for a while, enjoying the comfort of being in each other’s arms.

They spend the day together, ignoring everything that’s unimportant or stressful. Phil pampers Dan, and Dan gives Phil lots of affection and love in return.

“I am so glad you exist,” Dan says, his words slurring together because of this tiredness. They’re in bed and it’s nearly two in the morning, but neither of them want this day to end. 

“I’m so glad you exist too.” Phil smiles sleepily and holds Dan closer, if that’s even possible at this point. 

“Have we officially turned into  _ that _ couple?” Dan giggles, his eyes closing despite his attempts to stay awake. 

“I think we have and I love it.” Phil yawns and kisses Dan’s forehead. 

“I love you.” Dan smiles up at Phil who smiles in return.

“I love you too.” 

The next day Dan hangs up the painting, saying it’s his favourite so far. He cherishes the smile that that statement brings to Phil’s face. 

They spend their day catching up on emails, Dan rather annoyed by it.

“I told you we shouldn’t have stayed up that late when we’re both extremely busy right now,” he tells Phil, only getting a kiss in response. Suddenly, he doesn’t feel so mad anymore.

They’re stuck spending hours answering emails and making phone calls. There’s just barely time for dinner and a film. Dan has rehearsals and Phil has to teach tomorrow, but end up failing and go to bed near midnight.

Phil ends up getting to school late. Their class very unimpressed until they hear the word “boyfriend,” when Phil is explaining they’re late. They slightly regret mentioning Dan as they never hear the end of it for the entire week. Finally they ask Dan if he’d like to meet his students.

“Are you kidding me? They actually want to meet me that bad?” Dan asks, a bit shocked.

“Of course! I mean, they already know you’re Dan Howell the famous dancer, but they said they just want to meet their teacher’s boyfriend. I’m slightly doubting that, though.” Phil shrugs, their fingers carding through Dan’s curly hair.

“There’s times where I forget I’m famous.” Dan chuckles and closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Phil’s affectionate touch.

“I do too, honestly. Especially when I’m teaching. I love having what’s seen as a more normal job,” Phil says as they shrug again.

“Your students have an incredible teacher.” Dan smiles up at Phil, opening his eyes just to see them blush and roll their eyes. 

“And I have an incredibly sappy boyfriend.” Phil smiles back and leans down to press a kiss to Dan’s cheek. 

“You love it,” Dan says in a teasing tone, his smile never fading.

Phil rolls their eyes, but smiles fondly. “I really do.” 

Dan meets Phil’s classes on the following Monday. He’s not as nervous as he was expecting to be, but he’s still a bit apprehensive.

Dan’s late. It was mostly his instructor's fault for making the rehearsal twenty minutes longer. When he walks into the classroom, Phil is grading papers while the kids work.

“I am so sorry I got here late. My instructor decided to add twenty minutes to the rehearsal even though we already had everything perfected, and traffic was awful,” he rambles on, Phil standing up and kissing his forehead.

“Don’t worry, Honeybee. I’m just glad you got here safely,” Phil said before turning to address the class. “So, since you all were so eager to meet him, here’s my boyfriend, Dan.” Phil smiles as Dan waves shyly, the students immediately asking questions.

The two answer questions for the rest of the day, some classes more curious than others. By the time they head home, they’re exhausted, but happy as ever,

“That went pretty well if I do say so myself,” Dan says as they both sit on the sofa.

“Even though my students hardly worked, I’d say it did, too. They’re all happy to have an extended deadline for their projects.” Phil chuckles, Dan snuggling up close. 

They sit like that for a while, Dan playing with Phil’s hair. They take the time to relax and watch television instead of going to bed.

The following day is spent enjoying the freedom of not having to work. The peace is broken the day after that as Dan has a rehearsal and Phil has work to grade so they spend as much time doing nothing as possible. Eventually Dan leaves, and Phil decides to go and watch anime instead of grading.

Dan joined the other dancers as an instructor turns on the music. Phil has always enjoyed watching rehearsals, especially when other dancers’ significant others are there, too. They all have quite a few perks -- since they're dating the dancers -- and they use this time to brag about their significant others and cheer them on. Phil usually watches in awe and proudly states that they’re dating the lead dancer. It embarrasses Dan a bit, and he's always denying Phil's praises, but Phil thinks it's worth it to see Dan blush and smile, knowing he's going to be thinking about their compliments every time he rehearses.

Phil makes sure to clap as loud as they can once they finish the routine, and Dan quickly leaves to change and get cleaned up. Phil is still bragging when Dan comes out of the dressing room, which doesn't shock him one bit. He walks over to Phil and kisses his cheek, the group of significant others watching as Phil picks Dan up during their hug since Dan is so small. It's quite frankly one of the most adorable things the group has seen, especially for the newcomers; the ones that have seen it before just smile, used to the two being affectionate. Phil doesn’t put Dan down, saying goodbye to everyone and carrying him out of the building.

“Is it really necessary to carry me?” Dan giggles, taking the opportunity to cling to Phil.

“It is one hundred percent necessary,” Phil says in a very serious voice, holding back giggles the best they can as they carefully set Dan in the the passenger seat of their car. 

Dan’s favourite days are the days when he has rehearsals. Phil always pampers him, and they spend the rest of the day relaxing and talking.  Conversation always flows easily between them, never once faltering. 

"My parents were so shocked that I wanted to keep these things!" Phil giggles, gesturing towards their chest. They'd decided against getting any surgery or going on testosterone even though they presented masculine. "The only time they actually called me anything other than a girl was when we were arguing about this. My mother was like 'but if you're a boy then you wouldn't want breasts!' I sat there for like, fifteen minutes trying to explain, once again, that I'm not a boy, but she wouldn't have any of it. I moved literally a week later." Phil chuckles and looks over at Dan, so happy that he was comfortable enough with his scars from top surgery that he hasn't bothered to put on a shirt. It’s little things like that which really showed how much Dan trusts Phil, and vise versa. 

Dan shakes his head and puts a hand on his own chest, feeling the two large scars. "They're both unbelievable. My parents weren't really there when I got my surgery, obviously. Jack was, though." He lets out a soft sigh at the mention of his former fiancé. "He was an angel back then. He helped me with my drains and made sure I was well taken care of..." Dan starts to tear up at the memory, feeling pathetic for getting upset over what happened so long ago. 

Phil pulls Dan into a comforting hug and does their best to sooth him. It works, thankfully, but Dan still spends about ten minutes crying in Phil's arms as they play with his hair and tell him calming words. 

When Dan’s breathing falls steady, Phil knows he's fallen asleep. It takes a bit of effort, but Phil carries Dan to bed and gets him tucked in. Cuddling isn't abnormal for them at all, so Phil gets into bed with him and holds him close. They've always loved holding Dan; his small body makes him fit perfectly in their arms. They close their eyes and quickly fall asleep with a small smile on their face. 

Phil wakes up first, taking a moment to enjoy how serene Dan looks when asleep.The moment is ruined by Dan waking up and grumbling about being up so early. Phil chuckles and pulls Dan closer, kissing his forehead. 

“Romance movies were wrong. Waking up is still as painful when you’re next to your partner.” Dan groans, hiding his face in his pillow. Phil rolls their eyes and giggles, running their fingers through Dan’s hair. 

“Well, the people in romance movies go to sleep at a reasonable time. You, love, do not,” Phil stated matter-of-factly. 

“Shut your mouth,” Dan grumbles in response. Phil laughs softly and kisses Dan’s cheek before getting up to prepare breakfast.

Phil lets Dan relax until it’s time for his rehearsal, making sure Dan is really ready to go and has everything he needs. Phil drops Dan off at the studio, then heads back home to grade.

Phil works non-stop until it’s time to pick Dan up. They’ve always been one to try to get all of their work done as soon as physically possible. Phil grabs the keys to the car and heads out to pick Dan up from the studio. They plan on treating Dan to another night of pampering, especially since they knew Dan’s instructor would be focusing on the more difficult parts of the routine today.

Dan walks out of the studio, looking like he’s ready to sleep for the rest of time. 

“That was the hardest rehearsal we’ve had in awhile.” He gets into the car and puts on his seatbelt, rubbing his eyes.

“At least you can relax now. How does a warm bubble bath sound?” Phil suggested, holding Dan’s hand as they drive back home. “I’d love one. My calves are dying.” Dan groaned, closing his eyes. “A warm bubble bath it is, then.” Phil kissed the back of Dan’s hand, smiling at the contented sigh Dan let out.

\------------------------

It wasn’t Phil’s plan to propose in their lounge, both clad in pyjamas, it just happened. It isn't even particularly romantic, but you can bet your ass Dan says yes faster than he could even comprehend that Phil actually wants to marry him. The two of them were exhausted as hell. Phil had graded all of his students' assignments, and Dan had completed a rigorous dance practice. Phil had been sweet enough to carry him around for the rest of the day, even making him a warm bubble bath. 

Afterwards, they were peacefully sat on the sofa watching film after film. Phil was playing with Dan's hair, paying more attention to him than he was the movie. Dan enjoyed the affection a lot, needing the pampering after the long day he'd had. 

They were in the middle of some romance film they couldn't bother to remember the name of when it happened. Phil was staring at Dan with a big smile on their face as he heard the actor proposing. He'd been planning to pop the question for a while, and they’re too sleep deprived to think straight. They felt very much in love with the adorable man in his arms, so they decided to just do it. 

"Hey, Dan?" Phil asked, their voice quiet but confident. Dan looked up at Phil with a sleepy smile on his face.

"Yeah, Phil?" He was just as tired as Phil, and being curled up in Phil's arms was making it even harder to stay awake. "Would you be gay with me forever? Like would you marry me?" Phil's words were slurred together, and they hardly realized what they had asked until Dan had smiled big enough to expose his dimples and excitedly said "yes!" He snuggled up closer to Phil and pressed a kissed his cheek, not fully realizing what just happened. 

Phil grinned like an idiot and hugged Dan tightly when they heard his answer. They quickly got up and went to their room to get the ring they bought, then ran back downstairs to put the ring on Dan's finger. The platinum ring, inlaid with several diamonds, looked gorgeous on Dan's hand.

The two of them quickly fell asleep on the sofa with the film still playing in the background. 

Upon waking up, Dan looks down at his hand and then up at Phil in shock. 

"Did we really get engaged?" Dan looks back at the ring with a small smile on his face. Phil nods and hugs Dan tightly. 

"Mhm. That's the ring I bought you, and I remember proposing last night... Now that we're not half asleep, do you still want to marry me?" They’re nervous as they ask Dan to marry them, lacking the confidence they had last night now that they can think properly.

"Of course I do! Just because I was half asleep when I said yes doesn't mean I didn't mean it." Truthfully, Dan is terrified of being engaged again, but he reminds himself that Phil isn't Jack, they won't leave him like he did. At least he hopes they won't. 

Phil’s eyes light up, and they smile like they heard the best news of his life, and Dan would do anything to see time after time again.

After Phil proposes, they both start planning for both their wedding and their future together. Dan finally moves in with Phil, even though he practically lived there in the first place. They’re too excited to wait to plan for the wedding, starting with planning what they’ll wear. “Dresses for sure. Although, you would look incredible in a tux.” Dan shrugs and looks through the wedding dress section of a wedding magazine he picked up at the store. 

“Maybe we should sort out our colour scheme first.” Phil chuckles and takes the magazine.

“Well, I want something pastel, but I know you probably want something darker. I am not wearing a black wedding dress; I know you were about to suggest it,” Dan says, interrupting Phil before they can say anything.

“How did you know I was going to say that?” Phil asks, always shocked at how well Dan knows them.

“I’ve known you for over a year; I think I know you well enough to know how you think. Although, I didn’t know you were the illustrator of one of my favourite books until a few months ago. I still don’t understand how I never noticed it, but I’m more pissed off  at the fact that you saw me reading it, yet never said a word about it.” Dan pouts, crossing his arms.

“I did tell you, though! You were reading it for the hundredth time and I said, and I quote, ‘hey, you know I did the art for that, right?’ and you flipped out! You went on a rant over how stupid you were for not knowing that and I was over in the corner laughing my ass off,” Phil says, laughing at the memory.

“You’re such an asshole,” Dan mumbles, still pouting.

“Yet you agreed to marry me.” Phil smiles a wide, bright smile. Dan looks at his ring with a matching smile and  _ maybe _ he tears up a bit, but he doesn’t let Phil see.

“I’m so happy that you proposed…” Dan says quietly, wiping his eyes.

“I’m so glad you said yes,” Phil says, taking Dan’s hand in their own.

They continue to plan, coming to a compromise with the colour scheme. They picked out their dress styles, going for something similar, but unique to them individually. Dan’s is much simpler than Phil’s. The lace trim on the bottom and top of the dress us black, a dark contrast to the powder pink of the soft, flowing material of the dress itself. Phil’s dress on the other hand is much more extravagant. With lace on the top part of the dress and a skirt that fades from the same light pink as Dan’s dress to black. It has long lace sleeves and is floor length like Dan’s. They’re fortunate enough to get their dream dresses, and they couldn’t be happier with the end results.

The next thing to plan is the venue, the menu, and the seating. The invitations are sent out, although there aren’t many. The menu also causes many arguments. They fought over every single part of it; the entree, the dessert, and especially the wedding cake.

The venue and seating are slightly harder. Since some family of theirs does  _ not _ get along, they have to make sure that no one sits next to someone they’ll inevitably start a fight with. It was quite difficult with how few relatives they had coming, but they got it worked out after many hour long phone calls.

“Why is your family so infuriating?” Phil groans, rubbing their temples. 

“Because they’re terrible people; we’ve been over this,” Dan grumbles and rolls his eyes, exhausted from all of the talking.

“I’m going to fight your entire family,” Phil vows, pressing a kiss to Dan’s forehead. “I’m sorry, Honeybee. You don’t deserve to go through that, and they don’t deserve you,” Phil says softly. 

“I love you,” Dan says, his voice wavering as he tries not to cry.

“I love you too, Honeybee, I love you too.”

The venue is gorgeous. Dan and Phil have always vowed to never waste money or spend it in such large amounts, but their wedding is an exception. They pay attention to absolutely every detail, even the colour of the chairs. Dan is very picky about everything, but Phil understands. Dan has planned his own wedding before. He has sat with a man he thought he would spend his life with and spent copious amounts of time, effort, and money just to be abandoned. Phil knows how important this is for Dan. Phil tries to calm him, holding him and trying to reassure him that they won’t be like Jack.

“Dan, I’ve spent the past year and a half knowing you, falling in love with you, and being your partner. I am definitely not going to leave you now, or ever for that matter. I proposed to you because I want to marry you, and I fully intend on going through with it,” Phil tells Dan one day. Dan clings to them and lets the tears fall as Phil holds him. The reassurance calms his fears for the most part, but it mostly makes him emotional. He lets out loud, broken sobs as Phil rubs his back and whispers soothing things to him.

“It still hurts. It’s been almost two years but it still hurts just as bad as the day it happened!” Dan is angry with himself, with Jack, and with the pain that continues to haunt him.

“It’s okay that it still hurts. You’re allowed to be angry and upset. Just remember that Jack is the one missing out. He’s missing out on being with the most incredible man I have ever met. I couldn’t be luckier than I am right now.” Phil keeps their voice soft, yet there’s a passion behind it that makes Dan finally believe them.

“I’m supposed to be the sappy one.” Dan chuckles weakly, sniffling and wiping his eyes.

“I figured you needed to hear that. I usually don’t use my words to express my feelings.” Phil shrugs, starting to feel a bit shy and vulnerable. Dan hugs them tight and kisses their cheek.

“I really did. Thank you,” he says quietly. Phil kisses his temple and holds him a little tighter. They don’t say a word; they don’t need to.

Planning continues as normal and Dan and Phil become even closer. They go on more dates and spend more time talking about the things that affect them both as people and a couple. It does wonders for their relationship, and a bonus is the press gets their eternal need for pictures of them satisfied enough that they don’t give the couple anymore trouble.

The planning has finally paid off, everything is set and perfect. Their friends and family are waiting patiently as Phil is driven to the venue. They're trying not to get too worked up, but it's hard not to when they're getting _married._ They look down at the dress they picked for this, smiling softly at the light pink material, accented with black lace. The two had argued about the colour scheme for weeks because they both had very different pictures in their heads. It took Louise and Zoe to finally get them to compromise.  
  
The colours are mainly pastel, Phil's aesthetic being "too dark for a wedding," as Dan had put it, but there’s still accents of black and lace.  
  
The car pulls up to the venue, and Phil is helped out and walked down to the altar to wait for Dan. Their family is smiling and waving at them, but Phil isn’t calm until they spot Dan.   
  
Dan has been waiting for this moment for months, yet he was anxious and shaking and trying not to tell the driver to stop. His fears were irrational, and he knew it, but that didn't stop them from being there. Logically, Dan knew that today was going to be perfect, but his anxiety had decided to fuck him over at the most inopportune moment. His uncle is calming him down the best he can, and the pattern in his dress is a good distraction, so he focuses on the intricate lace and loops and twirls until they're at the venue.The music starts playing and Dan's uncle, the only relative still spoke to, walks him down the aisle.  
  
Phil is staring at Dan like he's the only person in the room, breath taken away as they see him gracefully walk to them in a beautiful dress that moved perfectly with him. Dan's uncle goes to his seat once Dan is standing in front of Phil. 

"I can't believe this is happening," Dan says quietly, Phil taking his hand. 

"Neither can I..."  
  
The minister starts speaking, and suddenly they're both reminded that this is real; they're really getting married. They can barely pay attention because the surrealism of it all makes it hard to focus on anything but each other. His words are slow and clear as the friends and family gathered smile at the couple before them that is so in love. 

"Do you, Phil Michael Lester, take Daniel James Howell to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the minister asks Phil with a smile on his face. 

Phil looks into Dan's eyes and confidently says, "I do."  
  
Dan swears he could have passed out right then and there. He knows he's crying, just so happy and overwhelmed with emotion.  
  
The minister turns to Dan next, the smile still on his face. "Do you, Daniel James Howell, take Phil Michael Lester to be your lawfully wedded spouse?" Dan clears his throat and takes a deep breath before responding. 

"I do."  
  
Phil has never felt this level of happiness before. Just hearing Dan say those two words has made them feel like they're on top of the world.

"I now announce you as husband and spouse. You may kiss the groom!”  
  
Phil smiles widely as they pull Dan close and presses a sweet, loving kiss to his lips. The crowd cheers for them, so happy to see them finally married. Phil picks Dan up, an easy feat by now, and carries him to their car so they can go to their reception and celebrate being married.

Surprisingly, the reception goes without incident. Both Dan and Phil’s family manage to set aside their differences for the day.

“I can’t believe that we’re married,” Phil says quietly. Dan is holding back tears, so happy to have the wedding he’s always wanted.

“I was so scared you’d change your mind. Louise texted me when you arrived and my uncle had to stop me from bawling and ruining my makeup.” Dan chuckles, although it’s a bit strained. He can’t help the few tears that fall against his will. Phil stands up and pulls Dan up with them, hugging him tightly and kissing the top of his head. 

“I told you that I fully intended on marrying you, and I did. I made the best decision on my life when I said ‘I do,’ today. I love you, Dan. I always will.” Everyone “awe”s at Phil’s little speech and Dan starts crying harder, hugging Phil as tight as he can. 

“I love you too, Phil,” he says through his quiet sobs, a bright smile on his face.

After the reception, the newlyweds get on a plane to Italy. They figured they’d splurge on the wedding and honeymoon. They arrive and go to their hotel. Dan tells Phil the story of how he went on his honeymoon alone to spite Jack. Dan totally doesn’t start crying when Phil reminds him that he won’t be alone this time.

Dan lays on the giant bed in their honeymoon suite, smiling at the ceiling as Phil lays with their head on his stomach. 

“Have you thought about us having kids?” they ask, quiet as usual when they’re feeling nervous. 

“I have, actually. I’d love to have a family with you.” Dan smiles down at Phil, playing with their hair. 

“We’d have to adopt, though.” Dan sighs softly at that. He’d love to carry his own children, but he’s infertile. Phil couldn’t have children either, as their body wouldn’t be able to withstand a pregnancy, let alone labour, so they have to adopt. 

“I’d love them no matter what, because they’ll be ours. Regardless of whether or not we have them ourselves, they'll be our babies,” Phil says, grabbing Dan’s hand and lacing their fingers together. 

Dan nods and smiles softly, squeezing Phil’s hand gently. “I love them already.”

They stay a week in Italy. Most of it is spent going sightseeing and on fancy dates, but they enjoy their time snuggling in their hotel just as much as they enjoy going out. The plane ride home is bittersweet. On one hand, neither want to leave the beautiful place, but on the other hand they’re both homesick and missing their regular lives.

The first few weeks at home are normal. They quickly adjust to married life and settle back into their usual routine. The normal atmosphere is interrupted by Dan bringing up adopting again. They’re eating lunch and enjoying the weekend when he casually mentions it.

“So, when do you wanna have kids?” Dan asks, making sure Phil isn’t in the middle of eating or drinking anything when he says it. Phil looks at him with wide eyes and stays quiet for a short while. 

“Well, I am getting a bit older and we’re married now, so sometime soon. Not too soon, but in around the next year or so.” Dan nods and sips his water. 

“Well, the adoption process would take around that long. How old would you want them?” Phil goes quiet once again while they think, taking a bite of their sandwich. 

“For our first kid, I was thinking around one or two. We can have a baby later. I know you’re not quite ready for a newborn,” Phil says, a small smile on their face.

“I’m definitely too anxious to have a newborn straight away. I’d feel more comfortable with a two year old,” Dan says, like he’s been thinking about this for forever. He’s been thinking about this ever since they brought it up.

“A two year old would be lovely. Well, I guess we should start looking for an agency that’ll accept us. You know it’s going to be harder because of our genders and sexualities, not to mention our careers and fame,” Phil, always the realist, reminds Dan. 

He sighs and nods. “I know… I wish it wasn’t like that, but it is. We’ll find a place. I promise we will.” He reaches across the table and grabs Phil’s hand. 

“I know we will. We’ll find the right place and we’ll find the perfect child to add to our wonderful family.” Phil kisses the back of Dan’s hand and Dan smiles, knowing this will be the best decision they’ve ever made.

They’re immediately rejected by the first two agencies they go to. It was expected, but it still left them a bit discouraged and upset. The third adoption clinic was a success. Dan and Phil had to stop themselves from crying from the happiness of being accepted.

They filled out so much paperwork. Sheet after sheet, question after question until they were finally approved for an at home meeting to see if their house was fit for a child. They had child-proofed the entire house from top to bottom. They were desperate to be accepted and to be the best parents they could be.

“Okay, we have two weeks to prepare for the agent’s visit. Are you sure that everything has been child-proofed?” Phil asks, looking around to make sure there’s nothing dangerous for a child where they could possibly get a hold of it.

“I’m absolutely sure, Phil. I went around this house five times to make sure it was. It’s going to be okay.” Dan pulls Phil into a tight hug. “And remember that we still have the months it’ll take for us to do the other paperwork and wait to find a child.”

“I know, just…” Phil sighs softly and rests their head on Dan’s shoulder. “You’re right. I’m just being a bit paranoid.” A bit was an understatement. They’re freaking out over the smallest of things, but they can’t help it. They want this house to be more than suitable for a child in the eyes of the adoption agency.

“You have nothing to worry about, Phil. I promise.” Dan kisses Phil’s cheek and rubs their back. Phil nods and kisses Dan’s cheek in return, their way of thanking him.

Two weeks is a lot less time than it seems when you’re spending it stressing over something. With one final sweep of the house, Dan and Phil are ready for the adoption agent to come.

Phil holds Dan close as they greet the agent, Mrs. Schmidt, into their home. She’s a nice lady, but she was very critical of the people that came into the clinic adopt a child. She carries her clipboard around as she checks the entire house, Dan trying not to have a nervous breakdown whenever she writes something down.

She finishes after about half an hour, smiling at Dan and Phil. “I have never seen a couple go to such lengths to make sure a house was safe and ready for a child. You’ll be going on our list of parents that are waiting to adopt.” The couple stared at her with wide eyes before turning to each other and hugging each other tightly. They couldn’t help but cry from the happiness of being accepted. 

“We did it, Phil. We’re going to have a kid of our own,” Dan said in disbelief, Phil sobbing quietly and hugging Dan tighter. “We are. We’re going to be parents.”

They knew the wait would be long, but eight months was a lot longer than they had expected. They waited for the call every day, never losing hope.

It was Monday morning when Phil got a call from Dan. They were in the middle of teaching, but answered anyways because they knew it had to be important. They stepped outside the room for a moment so they could talk to Dan.

“Hey, Honeybee. What’s-” Phil is cut off by Dan sobbing, excitedly announcing that he got the call from the adoption agency that they had a little boy that was ready to meet them. Phil couldn’t contain their shout of excitement, promising they’d be home as soon as possible. They hung up and rushed back into the classroom, the students asking what happened. “I’m going to be a parent! My husband just got the call from the adoption agency, so I’ll be leaving immediately. I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” They quickly gathered their things and let their boss know what was happening before heading home.

As soon as Phil sets foot inside their house, he’s tackled by a crying Dan. 

“We’re going to be parents!” He exclaims, hugging Phil tightly. Phil hugged back just as tightly, smiling widely. 

“I know! Let’s go meet him!” The two calmed down and headed to the adoption agency, hardly believing this was happening.

By the time they get to the adoption clinic, their cheeks hurt from smiling so much and they are more than ready to take their first child home. Mrs. Schmidt guides them to the room where the little boy is playing with his toys, a small suitcase of his belongings with him.

“This is Austin. He’s two and a half and he says he already wants to go home with you.” Mrs. Schmidt chuckles and smiles fondly at Austin. Austin notices Dan and Phil and quickly runs over to them, stumbling a bit.

“Hi! I’m Austin! Are we gonna go home now?” he asks, attaching himself to Phil’s leg. Dan and Phil share a look and nod. 

“Of course we are!” Dan smiles widely and picks Austin up, hugging him tightly. “I’ll be your papa and they’ll be your nini,” Dan says, gesturing to himself and then to Phil. Phil smiles at the title, glad there was alternatives to mum/dad because they don’t feel comfortable with either. 

“Let’s go then!” Austin says, eager to be going home with his new parents. Dan smiles and Phil starts to fill out the paperwork Mrs. Schmidt handed them. It takes forever to get it all filled out, but it’s more than worth it when they get to take home their first child.

Having a kid is both the best and worst thing ever for many reasons. Dan and Phil love being parents, but there’s always the constant anxiety and nagging feeling that something bad will happen. Nothing ever does because they do everything they can to keep their son safe. Even though it adds a new source of stress to their lives, it adds an incredible sense of happiness to it as well.

One night Austin is curled up between them in bed, fast asleep. It had been a long day for all three of them and Austin refused to sleep anywhere but in their bed. Dan and Phil were half asleep and smiling at each other, Phil’s glasses still on. 

“In moments like these, I can’t help but feel like the luckiest guy in the world,” Dan says quietly, making sure to not wake Austin. 

“We’re both the luckiest people in the world,” Phil corrected, chuckling quietly. “I’m so glad we got him. He’s the best thing to happen to me since you came into my life.” Dan smiles, closing his eyes. 

“Me too. Now let’s go to sleep. I’m so exhausted.” Phil nods and pecks Dan’s lips softly before they fall asleep.

A year and a half later, Dan and Phil welcome a twelve year old daughter into their home. Austin had taken to her quickly, and she loved being a big sister. Her name was Adeline and she was going to be their last child. Two was more than enough for them. With their careers and somewhat hectic lifestyle, it made it a bit hard to have a family as well, but that didn't stop them from being the best parents they could be.

Years later, they sit together in their lounge and enjoy the peace and quiet as Austin naps and Adeline is at her friend’s house.

“You know, I never thought this is where we’d end up. Married with two kids and still having the same careers. I thought I’d have to slow down to be able to have kids, but I’m so glad I didn’t. I’m so glad this is where we ended up. Happy and living comfortably. I love you so much,” Phil says, holding Dan close, smiling softly. 

Dan sighs happily and snuggles up to Phil, kissing their cheek. “I love you too, Phil. More than words could ever describe. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.” 

Phil smiles wider at Dan’s words, hugging him tightly. “I do too, Honeybee. I do too.”


End file.
